in a big hole there was a big mouse, he had plenty and plenty of food. he was in a hotel so if he went out of his house, he would get caught by the mouse Trapps. So, he won’t go out of his house. once in the middle of the night some other mouse came into my house, and he stole all of my food. Now I have no cheese left now I might have to go out of my cage now to get some cheese from the traps now I got some cheese now I’m happy the end.
Hi Brax,
Good job on your writing this week and integrating the technique of the week so well (beginning with a “Where Things Are” sentence). One thing to improve next time is to be careful to stick to the “voice” of your story: is the story in the third person and about a mouse, or is the story in the first person, and the little mouse is writing it and saying “I”: for example “I might have to go out of my cage”?
Keep on writing!